We’re sitting together in my library. I’m on the brown chair that was part of a sectional my ex-husband bought, guitar on my lap. My friend Krystie Stuart sits across from me at my desk. It’s a small room, but it held three shelves full of books, my 2007 iMac, and a giant Breaking Dawn poster. She asks me to play something and despite my nerves, I agree. We had been toying around with the idea of playing a song together for our church. (Some of you may know that I am currently leaving the Mormon church. That is not the church I am referring to here. It was your run of the mill non denominational church.) I start strumming the chords to 3 Doors Down’s “Going Down in Flames”, a song that allowed me to cope with my struggles fitting into the Christian community.
Krystie smiled and told me that my voice was pretty, and then asked about the song. I told her what the song meant to me and then I started talking about the song “Playing God” by Paramore. The conversation quickly turns to mental health and the judgment among our peers at church. I expressed the pain I felt from the Sunday school teacher telling me hurtful things.
“You are allowing demons to influence you by taking medication for your depression.” “Your husband is a dark influence on you.” “You need to dress more modestly. You’re distracting the men.”
Krystie nodded knowingly and said she had been told similar things by this person. For a second, I was like oh good! Someone who gets me! She confessed she had been diagnosed with Bipolar, but that she also agrees with this woman that on some level its related to demons. Especially because during her episodes, she’d have visual hallucinations and see demons. She firmly believed those demons were real.
Krystie was one of the most spiritual and Christ-like people I’ve ever known. God was her life. And though we did not always agree on things and there were times she believed some questionable doctrine, she had such a beautiful and gentle heart. When I first met Krystie, it was at youth group and I was about 13 years old. She was older than me. I remember her holding hands with her boyfriend, and how they would talk about how they hadn’t even kissed yet, and wouldn’t kiss each other until they got married. When I stopped going to youth group, I didn’t encounter Krystie again until a few years later when I was volunteering at the library – and so was she! And then again, when my now ex-husband took me to “his” church. And we became friends.
In 2015, I divorced my then-husband and moved to Utah. I remember I didn’t talk to her as much after I moved. But I didn’t talk to much of anyone back in California. I have a lot of regrets about that…
When I found out Krystie was missing, I was in shock and fearing the worst. I felt so helpless. I was hundreds of miles away and relying upon the news, family and friends, and a kind woman who had reached out to Krystie’s family and helped hire a private investigator. I’ll go into details about what we know about the case in a later post, and eventually a video on my YouTube.
Krystie Stuart went missing on March 3rd, 2015 and part of her remains were found in February 2019. There is so much we don’t know. So many gaps. So many situations in which the case wasn’t handled appropriately at all.
I am hoping by sharing this story, I can bring awareness to this case and maybe someone who knows something will finally come forward. We need answers. And I may be helpless, but I still have a voice. And it’s time I use it.
For more information, visit this news article by the Daily Press.
Or connect @ In Loving Memory of Krystie Sutart Facebook Page
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